Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
