I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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