Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
