i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
