You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
