You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
