did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
