Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
