The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
