I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
