I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
