If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
