Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
