Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
