And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
