There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
handjob tips. give me some.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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