i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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