I'm lost and stupid without you.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
