Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
