My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
