Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize