Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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