We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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