You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize