the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
