why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
