so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
pop tarts are not kleenex
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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