Bisexual people are plain selfish.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
