You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
