this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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