I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
