He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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