i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
