I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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