so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
