covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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