Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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