I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Your penis caused this!
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