so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
