I want to stick my p in your. b.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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