i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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