dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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