she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This is my gift to your gina
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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