I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Congratulations! We have a period
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