Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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