dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
