Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
