he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He keeps bees of course he's weird
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
