Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
