i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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