his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize