Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
