if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
