i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He better not be in your backpack
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
