You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
