Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
