Christians are straight up FREAKS
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
