Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
