I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
