i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
