What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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