miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
