I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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