Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize