Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize