Sober January is a disaster.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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