My sheets look like a crime scene.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize