I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
