If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize