somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
