Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
