doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
