I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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