The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
