Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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