I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize